My elves and me III - Girl talk

[Leanan]

This is really just Arrowspeed and me, a rather boring story (you've been warned) that had to be written to complete what is written elsewhere, and to explain some things... following the events of my past fics in this continuum... if you can call them fics... and I think it makes sense even if you don't know the character from my holt fics, which aren't online anywhere at the moment since the whole holt went offline, nastybad web hosts... here's a pic of her if that is any help...



My Elves and Me III - Girl talk

This happened in my flat late one night, after a very strange experience I'd rather not go into details about. Some hints can be found in My Elves and Me II.

Skywise and Cutter had vanished the way dreams evaporate, and I found myself back in my own body.

And alone. Or so I thought. I climbed down from my bed and began to look for my clothes.

"Here. I gathered them up for you."

Arrowspeed stood there, floating inches above the floor as was her habit - sometimes I wonder if she really follows the oath she made half jesting when she was a kid, the oath that once she learned to glide she would never walk another step. Of course she does walk sometimes, when she tries to pass as human, or to help shorter elves meet her gaze at least a bit easier - but never, if she can choose to fly, does she abstain from it. So very unlike Rayek. To him levitating is an effort - yet Arrowspeed wasn't born a glider either. Maybe it's her glider blood that makes the difference.

She's not wearing her own clothes. Nor mine. She's naked.

"Er-thank you. How come you are here? I mean, I was you, somehow. And now we're separate again."

"You weren't me. We shared a body. You remained yourself, but inside my mind, sharing every thought and every emotion. I wasn't inside you. I still don't know what goes on in that head of yours, black-hair."

I get dressed.

"Are you cold? Would you like something to wear?"
"Now that you mention it, it's indeed a bit too chilly to go about bare as a bagfrog."

I rummage about in my closet and find her a cream-coloured satin nightie and a snow-white dressing-gown, and a pair of slippers. It's funny watching a glider dress, she floats into the clothes. The nightie is too large for her, I made it myself, measured to fit my curves.

I turn on the lights. My budgies protest, they were asleep. soon they settle, used to my odd hours.

"Would you like something to drink? Or eat? I still don't have any meat."
"What was the brown wine the lady with the long hair was having, last time I was here? She seemed to like it."

We toast on chocolate-cream liqueur. I sit in my armchair, Arrowspeed hovers in the air in front of me.

"Hmm. Even sweeter than the wine Featherveil makes for herself, and that was the sweetest wine I ever had. But this is also stronger, somehow the sweetness fits."
"This isn't wine. It's what humans call liqueur. It's my favourite."
"My favourite is bloodwine."
"I know. Somehow - when I was you, I could even remember how it tastes like. And I liked the memory of the taste."
"You know me, more than I know myself possibly. Timmain says you are a very special kind of Maker. She says somehow you made me with thoughts and words and pictures, yet without magic. Made me so you could share my life. She says I won't remember what I learn from you when I go back to where I live, but I will remember it every time you summon me. It's sad I won't remember getting to meet a living High One, but she said it's important that I follow the life I was living whereever it leads just as you made me."
"Timmain talked with you? What else did she say?"
"She said a lot of things, black-hair. Why don't you answer some of my questions for a change?"

"All right. Oh, and my name is Leanan."

"Why must my life be so full of suffering?"
Oh no, not all the philosophical stuff! Must I play a god's part now that she has got to meet her maker?

"If your life was different you wouldn't be who you are. And you are who you are, you must be who you are, because of who I am. You are a reflection of myself."
"Then why don't I look like you?"
"Because you aren't me. And because I've wished I'd look like you. You wouldn't like to look like me."
"I find you beautiful, black-hair - as far as humans go. I've danced with some, but of course you know all about that."

Actually I don't, because I haven't written that story yet, but I don't want to confuse her any further.

"Now, what about those other people? Little silver hair and his friend, and Kahvi and the beautiful glider girls and the long-haired lady who sat where you now sit, and everyone else I met here last time? Did you make them too?"
"Oh no! They were made by a maker, too, a human one, but she is much better at it than I. She's the one who inspired me to make you. She is so good she has shared them with the whole world. I've only shared you with a few."
"So - how come I sensed no difference, no feeling of inferiority like I got with the High One? If I'm only apprentice work and they the craft of a master, I mean?"
"Don't feel offended, Arrowspeed. And there was no difference because the ones you met were reflections of their true selves, reflected though my mind."

"All right. Now - what's it with you and little silver hair? He's nothing special in my eyes, just a male, one with a cute face and obviously some experience dancing with gliders... yet I could sense your love for him, your lust..."
"I love him. The trouble is, when I'm human he just finds me very annoying. And most of the time he isn't in the same world with me. Before Timmain turned me into you he was trying to kill me. So I really owe you thanks for that ... sharing."
"You're welcome. It was fun. Trying to kill you? Why?"
"For something I ... used him for. Something I made. But we solved that."

"Does he often try to kill you?"
"I don't think he'd actually do it, if he did I'd be dead now... he just threatens. The others do that sometimes too, when they don't like how I reflect them. And while they visit me I have no more control over them than I have over you, now."

"Are you afraid?"
"Yes."
"But you keep making those stories and such."
"Yes."
"That's kind of brave, from a peaceful one like you."

"Thank you. That is the sweetest compliment I could hope from you."

"All right. Now tell me, what happens if you die? Do I die too?"
"Maybe. Maybe you'll go on living."
"Timmain said that you sharing my life makes it more real, somehow. That that is why some of my memories are clearer than others. The clear ones are the ones you've shared. The others seem like ground seen through mist. And that the longer you live, somehow you add to my memories, make the misty ones clear one by one. So I don't think I want you to die. Here's what I suggest - the next time you are threatened by any of those others, summon me, will you? I could hold my own against any of those wolfbloods or fragile little gliders, and I'd love to try my strength against that braggart, Kahvi."

"I don't think you could deal with Winnowill - but you won't have to, she's in my control already. I lured her into my head with a new Blue Mountain to rule, and now she's trapped. yes, I'd appreciate your help very much. Thank you."

"Not so fast, black-hair! I have a price. I want Skymind."
"Aww - it did sound too good to be true. But he isn't mine to give, he belongs to another maker. I'm afraid you have to earn his love the hard way."
"Is any of the people at Starpool yours to give?"
"No."
"Could you make someone who was?"
"Maybe."
"Try."
"I will. But it may be the one I make won't agree to be given to you. But I'll try."
"All right, I guess that's the best I can get, so I'll take the promise."
"Then it's a deal?"
"It's a deal."

I reach out to shake her hand, but Arrowspeed closes her eyes and bends down to kiss me on the mouth. She tastes of chocolate-cream liqueur. her lips are very soft.

When it is over I open my eyes. She is gone. The clothes she wore are empty on the floor, as is her glass. Someone has used it, but there's more liquor in the bottle than there should be - just the small glassful I had is gone.

"Puckernuts!" I hear myself saying, aloud. My birds waken to the sound. I realize they've been silent all the while we talked. Usually they join a conversation with chatter of their own.

Why did she have to go?

Someone is laughing inside my head. I have a terrible suspicion who it might be. Well, at least he can't try to kill me anymore.

The freedom... Oh yes, I'll make him pay for eavesdropping on me.
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Baby Winnowill Fanfic (more comments wanted! Is Haken evil, mad or both?)

[scarlettdoll]

that wasn't boring! It's really neat getting to see inside your head and see the (multiple) lives you lead. You're very creative!
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To everything, there is a season, a time to cry and a time to laugh. Mostly to laugh.
Zebbed High Priestess of Southern Ya'llness

[Leanan]

Thanks scarlett... you made my day. I was worried this story was only interesting to me...
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Baby Winnowill Fanfic (more comments wanted! Is Haken evil, mad or both?)

[krwordgazer]

You write so well, Leanan, dear. I'd like to see some of the stories you've written about Arrowspeed.
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Those who know the exact price of things often miss the true value of things. - Kathleen Norris (paraphrased)

[Leanan]

There's about twenty stories... you sure you want me to pollute the forum with holt fanfics?
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Baby Winnowill Fanfic (more comments wanted! Is Haken evil, mad or both?)

[krwordgazer]

No, I guess not, Leanan. Post a link, then.

I don't usually read holt fanfics, but I like the way you write!
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Those who know the exact price of things often miss the true value of things. - Kathleen Norris (paraphrased)

[Leanan]

Thanks... that's a huge compliment - someone likes my style enough to read my holt fanfics... I found only a few that are completely finished among the holt fics, so i'll post those first.
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Baby Winnowill Fanfic (more comments wanted! Is Haken evil, mad or both?)

[Leanan]

HERE:

http://www.elfquest.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1981
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Baby Winnowill Fanfic (more comments wanted! Is Haken evil, mad or both?)