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Your personal 'Bridge of Destiny'?

Leanan

Cutter overcame his fear of heights on the 'Bridge of Destiny'. Later, in the battle with the trolls, he told the frightened Skywise: 'This is your Bridge of Destiny' meaning he had to face his fear, alone, to conquer it.

Have you been afraid of something, but overcome it in your adult years? What did you fear and what was the bridge of destiny you crossed to be rid of the fear? (I think children overcome fears simply by growing up. Adults need something more.)

One example from my life: I used to be afraid of rollercoasters and other amusement park rides. I'm 23 now. All my childhood I didn't want to go into amusement parks and when we did I rode only the carousels, ghost-trains and the like - the rides that did not take you high or sideways or upside-down or just round and round very fast. The reason was simple - I had a weak stomach. I also disliked car trips in summer and stormy weather at sea, but I didn't fear them like I feared rollercoasters - the mere thought of riding one made me queasy even in my teens, so that when my family visited another town they spent the day in the amusement park while I went shopping and touring the local art galleries.

Last summer, I decided I had to overcome this fear to share fun with friends and family. I knew I no longer get sick so easily on car trips so I figured the same had to be true of rollercoasters. So I bought a season ticket to the local amusement park. I went there a dozen times, started with the milder rides and moved on to rollercoasters and other scary ones, until I learned to enjoy even the giant 'half-pipe' with a force of three Gs, and the 'tornado' rollercoaster that makes a double loop around its track like a corkscrew...

My fear was gone.

Brighteyes

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Kindredsoul

Awsome topic!! But if I had to answer this, you would be reading aaaalllll night! Grin Grin Grin



Sawwwryy... Just had to say hi hun!
Missed you.... will you be on tonight????

Arfurido

Hey people! Stay on topic! Because this is a great one!

chocolate!

I used to be very scared after I had a nightmare...it's no childhood fear cause I've had it until now....
Since a year I've been working on this problem, cause I really lied awake at night, becasue I had a nightmare....and I was 18 years old!
So now, I just turn around, turn my pillow, and don't think bout it till the morning.

Another one, is I'm afraid of needles..
can't stand pain very much...really a sissy.... but I can't help it...I think..
can't do my eyebrows or other hairs wich I want to (epileren) what's the english word for that?? when you pull them out with a pincet..??
well, I don't dare to do that :?

lostshard

well two for me...well three...but one is obvious......one is needles.....i am sooooo afraid of those things....when i was little, they had to drag me into the doctors office....with three grown-ups....... and now they would have to punch my lights out first...soooo scary...


also losing my cat that was my bridge for sure...

lostshard

awww thanks sweety....euhm that makes four bridges then...i forgot one Wink

chocolate!

I just found another one when I saw a spider in my car!!!
Aregh, sooo afraid of them!! And I was already driving on the highway when I clapped away the light reflector...and behind that cap, there he was, just staring at me, what would she do..... so I kept staring for 4 seconds, and then I realised I was still driving... :oops:
so I kept looking at the thing, and at the road...It waws right in front ofg my eyes, just 4 inches away from me...and if it fell....
argh
but I did survive :D

Magela_earth

I've never really been scared of anything. I guess I'm afraid of the dark...sorta, or would it be scary movies?? or would it be men in scary masks??? I hate scary movies. But in real life situations, I'm free of fear.

krwordgazer

Spiders. Definitely spiders.

I have had to face the fear because when you're the mom, and dad's not home, guess what? You're the one who has to get rid of the spider for the kids! Eeek!

I've gotten to where I'm not that scared of ones dime-sized or smaller. But the big ones, I still can't get close enough to kill. I have to use Raid. :? And I still ask my husband to kill them if he's home.

I'm only referring to killing the ones that get into the house, of course. I don't go around wantonly killing things . . . If they're outside, I leave them alone.

Bloodwake

A fear that I cannot conquer: Permament Injury. If I were to injure a leg or an arm or something that I cant get fixed, that'd be the end of my sports life. I already socked a bench out of anger and I was out of playing basketball for about a month and a half. Once I started playing again, I lost alot of my skill. So now I'm out of shape too.

scarlettdoll

i have some crippling fears. I'm afraid of failure and I'm afraid of commitment (b/c if i bail, it's a failure). I haven't overcome them and may not ever (those internal fears are tricky little devils) but i hope that if i were to meet the right one, the commitment fear would diminish.

Externally, i am very afraid of roaches. I will never get over this; i will always spray Raid around the perimeters of my room/house to prevent seeing them and should i see one, i will always call someone to come kill it. (and like Wordgazer, only if they come in my house. But if we were outside and someone was willing to kill it, i'd say go for it! One less roach to invade my peace)

WhiteTiger

I have some demons that have yet to be conquored...yet I have over come fear of personal rejection.
Some strange ass stuff had to happen for me to get to this point too lol :D Surprised

Brighteyes

Was not going to post here.... but better here then out in the open!

I am extremly kloustrafobic(?)..... When I was little and me and my brother were fighting (like siblings do) he used to chase me all the way into my parents room and throw me in the bed covering me with the sheets and holding me down for fun..... It was no fun for me... But how could he know it would have sutch an inpackt on my adult life? he could not...
Now I really fear small and too big spaces.... Could never be an astonaut :roll:

My other big fear is darkness.... I still can not walk up stairs with gaps between them in the dark..I convince myself that someone/something will grab my ancles and pull me though :oops: , so I run like a crazy person with my pulse pounding throug the roof....
Just the same with my bedroom..... I still fear the dark gap under my bed :oops: , and I jump in it......... Have you seen the movie 'They'?
My fear did not get any easier after that.... :roll:

My third, I have acually never told this before.... (omg.... i'm a freak!!!! hahah....) oh...well....
I have this big fear of loosing a loved one.... Like I can be driving to the grosery store and suddanly get this horrible image of my mommy, daddy or any body lie'n dead somewhere... Like in a carwreck or drowned, fallen or murderd.... Then i go through all the emotions like shock, hysteria, disbelief and greef...I can see myself standing in their funural grying and getting all numb inside... It's awful..... The worst part is that no one around me don't seem to care....
Then suddanly, it's over!.... and all i'm left with is this acking pain in my hart.....
The funny part is that all of it lasts no more then for a few seconds... But it hurts like hell and I never seem to get wridd of it....

Well... now you know just how looney I am..... :roll:
Sorry if I scared any body away......

Zebula77

Awww *hugs*. Nope, you're not scaring away anyone, Lotte. Wink

I guess for me it has always been fear of being myself, I guess. I always used to be a very tight-knit, wary and angsty person. I was always hiding behind a mask it seemed. Maybe I was ashamed of the person inside? I don't really know why I used to be like that, but I had complexes in social situations - couldn't relax, couldn't let my guard down.

I'm not sure how it happened, but I think completely differently now. I'm much more loose and I let my personality hang out more. Wink

I've learned to just be myself, and it works wonders. :D

So I guess that's one very big fear conquered. Now, if I could only cure that fear of water! I mean, swimming pools are ok, but swimming out in the open - can't do that. I'm terrified of drowning. I have the most horribly realistic nightmares about that. Brrrrr! Surprised

myth

I'll be in this topic for awhile.
Lets start simple
I am acrophobic as of today I have no idea as to why, Im sure therapy, if I were to ever go, would reveal another skeleton.
While I am not afraid of spiders , snakes , worms or slugs I will scream bloody murder if ever face to face with a cockroach.This being from my childhood and never and I mean NEVER living in a home clean enough that they were not comfortable living there too.
thats all for today

NightAngel

I am so afraid of spiders!
I have bad dreams with them in it.

Also I have many nightmares about drowning.
I think I am very scared of water deep inside..

dreamwalker

I posted my fear in the question/answer thread, but I can put it here too. First step to overcoming a fear is confronting it. Wink I freak out when it comes to climbing ladders. No fear of heights or climbing up on other thing to reach things. But, I fell off a ladder when I was little and every since then, I get to the second step on a ladder and I get this weird sensation like I am falling and everything is going dark around me. So, I avoid them. It drives my family nuts though, because some of the "piles" I have built to reach things is usually far less safe than the ladder would have been in their minds.

Magela_earth

Brighteyes post made me think of something my brother and I used to do (by the way it's claustrophobic I believe), but I don't have any lasting effects from it. When we were really little, we would open up the fold out bed and lay in it sideways and fold it back up into the couch. Then when we got a little bigger, closer to like 12 or 13 we would take the matress out to do it, b/c we were too big. Then we'd put the couch cushions back on and scare people who sat down. One time by brother couldn't get me back out b/c I was too heavy (he was 2 years younger than me and I had just started puberty and was growing quite a bit faster) I got a little bit freaked. We called my mom, like, what do we do. He finally pulled me out when I bent some of the wire in the springs and pushed my hand through to push off of the ground. My mom had a laugh at us for being silly.

I don't think I'm deathly scared of anything other than bad guys that don't exist, like I said earlier. I'm not scared of heights, b/c I've been around them my whole life, but I shake and sweat when I'm up high, even though my mind is totally cool with it. I overcome this by diving out of airplanes at 3000 ft at least. I think that if my body didn't freak out a little, I wouldn't feel quite as accomplished once I hit the ground.

Bloodwake

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scarlettdoll

i have some crippling fears. I'm afraid of failure and I'm afraid of commitment (b/c if i bail, it's a failure). I haven't overcome them and may not ever (those internal fears are tricky little devils) but i hope that if i were to meet the right one, the commitment fear would diminish.

Externally, i am very afraid of roaches. I will never get over this; i will always spray Raid around the perimeters of my room/house to prevent seeing them and should i see one, i will always call someone to come kill it. (and like Wordgazer, only if they come in my house. But if we were outside and someone was willing to kill it, i'd say go for it! One less roach to invade my peace)



Oh my god, roaches? Yeah, Im deathly afraid of roaches. I cant get within 10 feet of one, especially big ones. Theres so many in Hawaii, which is where we usually vacation... :( I still have a couple haunting conflicts with them.

I rememeber a few years ago, me, my parents, bro, sister and her friend went to Kawaii (however you spell that one island) I was in the condo livingroom watching TV or something, when my sisters friend came out of his and my sisters room. I was like, what do you have in that tissue? He said a big cochroach (this'll be my first ever sight of a real cockroach) I said let me see it, he showed it, oh god... I could barely eat for a while, bloody cockroaches.

Leanan

I've never been afraid of insects - much. For some reason centipedes seemed disgusting when I was little. My brother and I turned stones over to see what was under and I liked the other critters but centipedes made me shiver. In school I was the kid who picked up a spider and held it by a leg right in the face of the girl who feared spiders. (I was a very naughty kid sometimes).

But living insects in food really freak me out. Once I was about to eat a spoonful of muesli and there was this little brown larva (worm? grub?) in it and I noticed just in time ... it left me so disgusted that for years I wouldn't use any of the spoons that were of the same set that the spoon the larva was on.

Another time I bought some spices from Greece and when i was back home I poured some of the herb mix on my hand to grind it to smaller pieces and garnish my meal with, and when i had the spice on my hand I saw there were little black beetles all over it. I was so shocked that I flung the spice from my hand all over the kitchen floor. My mother was furious with me letting the Greek beetles escape like that, fortunately they didn't infest our kitchen.

Later I've conquered this fear a bit. The first year I lived alone I had a fruit fly problem in my kitchen. Once I had negleted washing the dishes for too long and there was a whole colony of fruit fly larvae in my favourite china bowls. The remnants of cereal milk had soured and the stuff was literally alive with larvae. I scraped them off with a spoon and washed the dishes with scalding water, and that was that. To this day I don't understand why I didn't freak out.

The thing I still fear is fire. Especially causing a fire. I'm always hyper-careful when tending a campfire and it takes conscious effort for example to move a log with its other end burning. My best friend couldn't understand my difficulties with the gas stove at her family's summer cottage two years ago. I'm not used to lighters because i don't smoke, and I never managed to connect the flame with the gas - I feared I'd let too much gas escape and turned it off too soon. I had a similar difficulty in high school chemistry class with the bunsen-lamps.

Magela_earth

OOOOH i just figured out what I'm afraid of.....giving birth. I know I know, all the mothers here will tell me how rewarding it is, and that, yes, it's bad, but it's natural and once you go through it its worth it. I get sick everytime I think about it. I'm fine with horses, ....(I worked on a horse farm, the larvae thing reminded me b/c one of our workers left a placenta in an empty stall, I walked by, heard smacking juicy noises and where the placenta had been was ALL larvae, I just left it, we had flies everywhere anyways, they ate the placenta and joined all the other flies.)I saw so many horses give birth, helped so many of them out if they weren't doing good, I say some extremely gross mess ups that didnt' creep me out.... me having to give birth, BLAH I freak out. In fact, I have to stop writing about this b/c I'm getting creeped out, goosebumps, AHHHH

chocolate!

hmm, you are not the only one MAgela....
I always said I won't have any kids, because it hurts so much!!
it's not that I'm afraid of it....
hmm, so it's not exactly the same....but I'm afraid of them well, if it's too narrow they cut you.....and well......argh.....that scares me...I don't want that...auwie...nope, thye really have to talk me into that, give me some painkillers....

Magela_earth

ya and if they don't cut you then it just rips, and that's preferable cus it heals better, BLAH. I'm not so much worried about the pain, ya that freaks me out, it's just the idea of something living coming out of there, BLAH, if I was a man and I saw that happening, I don't think I'd ever be able to have sex with the lights on again, ok lets stop talking about it, *shivvers*

lostshard

hahaha sooooo funny...and creepy :oops:

Zebula77

Quote:
Magela_earth

ya and if they don't cut you then it just rips, and that's preferable cus it heals better, BLAH. I'm not so much worried about the pain, ya that freaks me out, it's just the idea of something living coming out of there, BLAH, if I was a man and I saw that happening, I don't think I'd ever be able to have sex with the lights on again, ok lets stop talking about it, *shivvers*



I dunno - I must say I really look forward to helping the future mother of my child with birth. I really like the idea of being there, giving whatever support I can. I think birth is a beautiful thing, despite the pain and the blood and mucus and stuff, hehe. Grin

Of course, I guess it's easy for me to say, since I don't have to through labour. :roll:

lostshard

indeed...you just gave a five minute contribution :twisted: Grin

Magela_earth

kudos to you and the mother of your future children, I'm glad that you think and ugly screaming alien coming out of an already ugly orifice is beautiful, and I'm sure your future lady will be too. It creeps me out major. I should have been a man.

That sounded mean”¦it wasn’t, it was just creeped out, hehe

lostshard

hahahhaha....you would make a great man, girl

Zebula77

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Magela_earth

kudos to you and the mother of your future children, I'm glad that you think and ugly screaming alien coming out of an already ugly orifice is beautiful, and I'm sure your future lady will be too. It creeps me out major. I should have been a man.

That sounded mean”¦it wasn’t, it was just creeped out, hehe



Pfft! That orifice is not ugly!

Magela_earth

oh, c'mon it so is. Where did the phrase "bumping uglies" come from?? YOu have to step back and look at it from a non sexual non pleasurable totally shape evaluation frame of mind. It's gross.

Zebula77

Hmm, maybe I'm unable to do that? I just find them very umm, appetizing, hehe.

Magela_earth

*sticks fingers in ears* lalalalalala I’m not listening, I’m not listening.

WOULD YOU SHAKE FOOD IN FRONT OF A STARVING MAN????? Get the picture”¦.don’t be cruel. I’m “starving” here man.

and women can't handle it as well as men

lostshard

*gniffles*

Magela_earth

ya and that's super sad b/c I have a boyfriend who I see all the time





F***ing prude

lostshard

hahaha that's classic Wink

Zebula77

Quote:
Magela_earth

*sticks fingers in ears* lalalalalala I’m not listening, I’m not listening.

WOULD YOU SHAKE FOOD IN FRONT OF A STARVING MAN????? Get the picture”¦.don’t be cruel. I’m “starving” here man.

and women can't handle it as well as men



Hahahahahaha, that made me laugh out loud. Thanks, Manda. Wink


Although I was confused at first - I read 'would you shake a foot in front of a starving man???' And I was like 'WTF does she mean?!?!' Grin

Magela_earth

HAHA, that's great, hehehehe. I'm giddy with overworking right now, haha I'm sitting here mindlessly giggling, its is bad, hahahaha

krwordgazer

Well, Magela, no ugly screaming aliens came out of me! Just babies who were beautiful and were my own flesh and blood.

I'm not offended, really-- I understand irrational terrors and all, but perhaps if you tried to look at it a little differently? :) I mean, for my own irrational fear, it does help to try not to see spiders as horrid crawly alien things, but as valuable members of the natural world.

Even though they still creep me out. Wink

scarlettdoll

my best friend is terrified of birth too.

To me, that is one event i find so amazing. But maybe if i didn't have migraines, i'd be more afraid of it. (the good thing about those migraines--my pain tolerance is thru the roof! Grin )
My ex-bf isn't big on it either. He says he wants his wife to only have 2 kids cuz birth is so bad on the body. :roll: even tho women have been doing it since the dawn of freaking time

Bloodwake

Thats why I like being a guy, not to be sexist though :O No pain

scarlettdoll

it's not sexist to say you prefer being male, silly boy.
myself, i prefer being a woman. I haven't done it yet but i imagine that having a life grow within you and then, being it's sustenance, is probably one of the greatest things in all of creation. but that's just me :mrgreen:

Arfurido

Birth... it totally freaked me out earlier, but then my best friend got pregnant. She was really healthy during the pregnancy, she didn't gain much weight (just the necessary weight) and still kept working out and dancing a bit even up to eight months. (Afther that the tummy was just in the way for... just about anything ;)) A few days overdue she gave birth to a boy in FOUR AND A HALF HOURS and she DIDN'T NEED A SINGLE STITCH!!! How amazing is that for a first born??

So now I'm not so freaked. I imagined her lying there for two days and nights (her mother did) and drama and shock and horror but it went so well!!

She told me part of it was knowing your body and expecting the pain. I've read doctor's saying that part of what takes women so long to give birth the first two times or so is they hold back because of subcontious fear. I'm not sure I believe it, but my friend has always been VERY strong willed and confident, on a very deep level. I won't give her that much credit because I don't know much of this stuff, but I mean, she must have done something to make the birth a dream... no wait, not a dream birth, but a fantasy birth Grin

Anyway, now that I see her kid growing up I'm more willing to do it because I see how many years of pleasure those 14 hours in labour can give you. I mean in one second you are in all the pain in the world, the next you see and hear the baby and everything is already forgotten!

My greatest fear is heights... and always will be :?

Magela_earth

It's so weird how you can thing two opposite things at the same time. I'm really into nature and all that stuff, if something natural, great. If I ever had a child, I might be that kind of person to zoom through it b/c I would have 9 months to prepare myself for a new life. I just don't know if I want that life right now, I have too much stuff to do and I'm not sure that I'm mother material (I'll probably change my mind in ten years, have a butt load of kids and revolve my life around them, but that's in 10 years, I'm not naieve enough to say I'll never want kids) and birth is a beautiful thing, but I think it's my instinct's way of telling me i'm not ready yet and making me scared of it. I get majoy shivveries when I think about it, but if I was going through it, I'd be able to appreciate it all. What mother can't. I just think it's both gross and beautiful at the same time...it's really hard being split like that........no pun intended.

Magela_earth

also, seeing the bond between a mother and child, and having that bond with my mother, there's no way I could truly "shun" birth, it's amazing how much my mother loves me and how permanent my mother is in my life, a complete fixture (I can't imagine not having her and my dad around, I don't know how people do it). Birth is just my weakness, my kryptonite and I become irrational and scared when confronted with it, hence the crazy references above. I admire all of you and your children. :D *hugs* I always stick my foot in my mouth these days. I still say that mean forum tainted me *twitch twitch*

scarlettdoll

Magela--that wasn't foot in mouth, silly git. (Ha Shardy! I'm using your words! :P ) It is one of those kinda contradictory things, beautiful cuz it's bringing forth this new life that is created from your own body but also kinda gross cuz there's blood and other yuckiness all over the place (i'll steer away from details Wink ) I like how so much of life is contradictory. (makes me feel more normal Grin )

LordDarkhan

I now know all of your weaknessess.......MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :twisted:

Ragingmoon

My biggest fear would be losing my daughter, Narysse. Other than that, i'd have to go with heights.

Magela_earth

I love your avatar Ragingmoon, and you have a very honorable fear


Andre, .......that was greatly funny.

scarlettdoll

Quote:
LordDarkhan

I now know all of your weaknessess.......MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :twisted:



Oh crap! Surprised But you know I've always liked you right LordDarkhan? :D

Ragingmoon

Thank you, Magela... on both counts. My little girl is my pride and joy. Without her, life wouldn't be worth living. I think my avatar is pretty cool, too.

Bloodwake

Quote:
LordDarkhan

I now know all of your weaknessess.......MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :twisted:



Nothing weak about me, Im a toughguy 8)

Just... dont show me cockroaches :oops:

Trollbabe

There are two things that can be overcome through accomplishment. One is low self-esteem. Another is paralyzing fear. (I qualify "fear", because fear in itself isn't bad.)

I am afraid of reaching out to sales prospects. After careful preparation, I deal with this fear by contacting a prospect, then reflecting on what I did. Most of what I do is right, while there is always room for improvement.

People who are obstructed by fear or low self-esteem should have a series of reachable goals, for which they will enjoy the rewards. For example, a child who is afraid of dogs might be asked to feed a puppy or non-aggressive small breed dog. As a reward, he gets a stuffed toy dog. A child who helps with the dirty dishes every night, without fail, gets to plan a family meal as a reward.

MultiFacets

I've had problems with depression and self-harm ever since I was twelve. The Bridge of Destiny came each time I decided I wanted to live and get better. And it'll probably come again when my parents are gone and I'm on my own.

It's scary, but when you come back to safety, it might well be worth the crossing.