What are you wondering now?

I wonder what would be considered correct grammar in a gender-bender story? (for those who don't know, it's a story where genders are swapped so girls are boys and boys are girls) I recently stumbled across one where the characters were "born" swapped, so the girls were not transformed into boys, but born as thus, and vice versa. Calling all the 'boys' 'she' and all the 'girls' 'he' was okay enough as I did understand who was who and what gender and all.

But! If it's a changing-story, where a boy is actually transformed into a girl and a girl is transformed into a boy, if only momentarily, should one keep calling the boy 'he' and the girl 'she' when they are the opposite gender?

I mean, it would be strange to call a girl 'he' while using a girl's name, but I also think it would be very strange to say that 'he' was wearing a dress when referring to the boy-turned-girl.

What are your views on this?

(and no, I swear I haven't gone insane, at least not completely, maybe just a teeny weeny bit. I've just read one too many fanfics on fanfiction.net)

You're not crazy.
So I'll answer you with some very respectful, mirroring and open questions :

. CAN you, do you remember what behaviours, attitudes, etc. (among them 'grammar' - lol)
  you were TAUGHT and CONDITIONED TO USE, during your youngest / younger years..?

. Would you be able to MEASURE, to QUANTIFY which amount of what your 'gender' is and means..
  ..was in fact INDUCED into your mind, and which part is TRULY innate?



Some awful scientific experiment was conducted, during the 60s, in the glorious U.S.A.
Some very young kids were isolated, educated in a very neutral way, with NO emotional support.
Soon, those poor kids would not be able to learn anything, not even walking.
After more time, they would not eat or drink or cling to life in any way..
..and they quickly died.

When I read about that experiment, that was conducted very 'scientifically', I was shocked.. ..but it reminded me something:
A baby, thrown into water, would innately swim, like most mammals do.
The very same baby, having become a young kid, after some years, if never taught to swim or at least to behave calmly in water.. would panic and eventually drown, when set in the same conditions.

Since then, I've paid more attention to what education and conditioning bring..
..and to the differences between Homo Sapiens Sapiens and other animals.

Almost all of the 7,000,000,000 representatives of our species have to learn almost everything..
..and almost all of them CAN do so.


So why wouldn't a transgendered kid be able to use 'he' or 'she' as a pronoun,
to stay in the concerned field of grammar..
..IF the mental and educational settings induce him/her to do so, in this or that situation..?


Now, maybe if you precise the question..

I think it epends on how the characters "see" themselves in the gender-switched state.

Is the boy still feeling "male", just being put into a female body? Or worse, captured in the body of another girl?
... then I would try to stay with HE.

Or - is HE really a girl in this state, thinking female of herself?
... this would be SHE for me without doubt.

Wondering which sort of evil magic pond has swallowed my comment on Vojira's thread ... - - - AGAIN!

*is a little guilty* I was REALLY hungry, okay?

Kidding, kidding. I hate that.

Refer to those in possession of boyparts as 'he' and girlparts as 'she' - unless the characters are actually suffering from gender dysphoria and in the process of gender reassignment... or unless someone has temporarily inhabited the body of another gender. Otherwise, don't sweat it.

I'm wondering if you have to actually be in love with the man you marry or if mere gratitude will do. Will common sense and a basic friendship that involves sex sustain a lifelong relationship? Should I do this? Is there any better option?

Isn't the recipe for contentment two parts gratitude and appreciation, and one part resignation?

Next time tell me - I'll serve you something tastier and more nourishing.

HUH?

I think basic friendship is a great place to start. After 15 years with my husband, I have to admit that I don't always feel romantic love for him, but I do know that we can face some pretty tough situations together without killing each other, and that counts for a lot. I also know that I would rather spend time with him than about anyone I've met.

But gratitude? That doesn't sound like a good basis for a relationship to me.

I wonder if these clouds mean that we might get some rain.

And I'm wondering why no one comments on my art. Is it that bad, or am I just being needy and paranoid? Or is it just a symptom of the lack of activity around here anymore?

Every situation is different, Luna, but you are always wished the best You yourself knows what is best for you

*looks at Jeb with confusion* We do comment on your art, sweetie! I still love the Cutter painting you did for the contest O.o Or did I miss something?


I'm wondering if I'm going to survive the new cat in the house -.-

Jeb- we love your artwork. If people haven't commented much, it's just we haven't been commenting much on most things... but I gotta tell you, I always love checking in to see what you are doing! And I love your stories too (you should write more stories!)

I guess by 'gratitude' I meant a general appreciation of the fact that this is pretty good- and most often, 'pretty good' is as good as one is likely to get. I mean... I'm really not in love with this person, but he seems to love me... and he's nice and he has done everything right. I like him as a human being. I find him physically attractive.

Anytime I have been in love, it's been a fiasco that blows up in my face and requires a lot of recovery time. I'm not interested in doing it again. But... I am interested in raising kids. Part of me fantasizes about just getting pregnant and blowing off the guy, but... I think, to raise kids, requires a certain amount of stability. That said, it's good to have a second parent around who can assist with rearing offspring, contributing financially and just plain being there if something goes wrong.

So I'm trying to figure out how much resignation I can swallow here, tempered by how much... well, gratitude, I suppose... for what's positive in the situation. He's really great in every way. I don't think I could get a better man.... nix that, I obviously can't. I fall in love with unstable people who I ultimately can't trust. This guy is trustworthy... so far, anyway. It's kinda like the songs says- you can't always get what you want (and if you are me, you just never get it), but sometimes you can get what you need, more or less.

Bad habit and summer heat on my side, jeb. You are here, in an tab of your own right before my eyes. I see your new art pop up - thinking: "Oh WOW!... you must comment properly later when you have rested a bit and a free mind for beautiful things". And after reading what else is new, chilling with playing ... I fall asleep on the couch. Right now I remember 3 drawings and a story Ihave put on my list this way - not conting the older drawing and the new sketch for the contest.

That bad, jeb? High Ones - NO!!! I love the art you shared in the beginning, for the grab-gbags and in you thread. And I see you have improved since ... your newer art looks fantastic. Please forgive my silence, jeb. *hugs* Your art is wonderful - and you are not paranoid. We are simply so few active ones - when some are away or silent for other reasons it's almost dead here.



I wonder if I will ever find the time to catch up with the Scroll - even in these silent times. I must change my habits ...

Probably the lack of activity. I'm not here very often and I almost never give comments anymore, but I always love your stories and art!! LOVE IT! It's not bad at all! I'm kinda jealous on how beautiful your art is!

I'm wondering when I'm going to have nice dreams. The dreams I have make me upset and sad. I rather do not dream at all.

That does, indeed, sound pretty good, and I think could be the basis for a lasting relationship. But then I tend to be a bit of a pragmatist.

Thanks for the kind words, everyone. I'm on a work break and know I've got a little too much time to obsess over things right now, but the encouragement really means a lot to me.


What I'm wondering now, is how people use this website since it's gone over to a more social network format. What is the most effective method of sharing art or stories?

So sorry for you, Wolfie *hugs*

*sending Leetah at your place to shoo the bad dreams away as she did for Suntop*


*hugs back* Don't let anyone make you believe that your art isn't good enough, jeb. And please - don't do it to yourself!