Weird, funny or confusing lines you've ever heard or read?

Weird, funny or downright confusing lines you heard in tv-shows, news-programs radio shows and so on.
Mine's from a 'Greatest weapons' program on Discovery Channel.
'-...more tanks then God!' I can't really remember what he prior to this but I know it din't make any sense. XD
Said by some over eager General.

Here is one of *the suite life on deck* on disney XD

"Are we having our first fight?"
"WE ARE NOT HAVING A FIGHT!"
"you two need to be spayed and neutered!" XD

also:

"I'm tough you're weak, I'm goodlooking, you're...bleehh." XD

'We are not encouraging Danes to not go on vacation in Egypt at this time. '
Heard over the radio while the 'Muhammed crisis' was rolling over the land.
The line might not be totally right wordwise, but the Announcer actually said the line wrong. From what I know the other news programs at the time was saying Danes should not go on vacation in any country that had become enraged by our little drawings.

a funny comment I got once, randomly said in a convo about something completely different: You are my cryptonite. ^^

Heard on Dexter, season 3.
Deb:Your protective detail* are going to think you spent the night here!
Anton, sleepy: I did...
Deb:They're gonna think we slept together!
Anton: We have, Deb.
Deb: Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god...

*Protective details= bodyguards of some sort.

Are you tired?


Because you have been running thru my mind all night

When my class had problems with what we had just learned in math:

Me: Damned Hell if I'm ever going to understand this!
Friend1: Oh, come on! You're like, the smartest of us!
Me: No! I feel stupid!
Friend2: Nah, it's not that bad. I actually understand it.
Me: Yeah, and that just about says it, doesn't it?

...

The silence that followed made me want to just die. -__-

''we're not out to kill each other. It's just a hobby.''- Said by some brainless football-hooligan who was talking about the violent fights his group has with their rival group.

''does it hurt that much?''- said a man too his wife, who was giving birth at the moment....

...or what about this: (something my mother overheard at the birth clinic when she was giving birth to my brother, but not directed at her)

"No, this one was ugly!!" - said a man to his wife, right after giving birth.

(I should perhaps be careful of telling things like this in an Elfquest society )

that cannot be good for relationship.

Well, I'm not sure. They were farmers, from a part of the country where they don't use to take themselves very seriously, but anyway...

XD let's hope so.
God I feel like saying 'Just put him with pigs, Martha.'

I've heard of a woman who told her husband after that question: "Try and shit a melon yourself!"

I thought that a little drastic, but imaginable...

''Huh? The main character is a bald monkey boy?''
(takes a closer look)
''Oh, wait...It's just a really ugly boy.''-Me, when I saw the first picture of the main character in Final Fantasy XII.